So, there are all sorts of reasons I could use for not writing one of these for ages, simply I am going to stick with Groundhog Day. We have been here, for what seems like ages and every day has been the same, so nothing to really write about. Supposedly Nat has extended her leave until late in July, so it will be August before we get to leave. We are not sure where we are going to be sent, but we are definitely keen to head up north soon.
Since I last wrote one of these Laura has completely left the area, which is really sad. At least she is having a good look around NZ on her way up to her crazy mate Iris, who is working on some herb & fungi farm (not entirely sure if said farm is growing anything legal), north of Auckland. I have told Laura that if anything goes wrong near Auckland, she can always ring her Uncle Geoff and Auntie Kate, they will both be happy to look after herself and Nicky’s favourite child (naughty)Iris.
Yes, Serena and Georgia will always be up there as favourites, especially if we need a crap or need somebody to walk the special needs blind lady up Mt Iron again.
Thais has also left which is a bugger. As soon as it started to get cold, she said, “Fuck This!' and headed off to Thailand (getting shots 3 days before she left-I think she has a fast immunity system). Thais has been one of the funnier workers, who liked to get right up to your face and shout at you if she didn’t understand what you were saying, she was also keen on a bit of fighting, which was entertaining first thing in the morning.
Next week Anais leaves which will also be sad, she, like the rest of the French that have worked here has been so funny. After all she was the one that decided to call me “Stomach on Legs!” Anais works with us and at the Bombay Palace at night, so some days she is running a wee bit late, but she always tells us that she has managed to brush her teeth.
It is really sad when ones leave, and we often talk about the fact that without the young ones being here and keeping us amused, we wouldn’t have been able to stay here as long as we have.
We have though had 3 new ones start and I think once again we have managed to get a group of crazies.
Marlou, from Holland worked with Anais at Mt Maunganui, and is always wanting to have a laugh.
Emma, another French person, also worked with Anais at the Mount. At first, she seemed quite shy, but no, she too is completely bonkers and gets right into Isi’s dance groups during room cleans.
Photo: Anais, Isi, Crazy Dawg & Dolphin. Very busy cleaning.
Last but not least we have Iruka, from Japan, who makes Karen seem sensible. When asked if she had any nicknames, Iruka said yes, “Dolphin” (Iruka, Japanese for Dolphin). Dolphin is a surfer, skateboarder & snow boarder, who doesn’t see any reason for hiking. She loves drinking and likes to tell us that she is either our best or second-best worker. It all depends on how she feels on the day.
Now, not to be heightist, but you also have to see the difference in the height of Marlou and Dolphin, who are good mates. Marlou is about 6ft 3, and Dolphin is almost 6ft tall (if she was standing on a fucking big box - ok 5ft if she’s lucky).
A few Sundays ago, we headed out to Makarora to visit the ones at the Cafe and maybe some dog. I have to say that they all were in fine fettle, especially Lulu.
Photo: Crazy Dawg practicing her hiking on the way to Makarora. Or was she off for an illegal poo. I can’t remember, it was ages ago. Fucking Freedom Campers.
Ben and Tess have bought a dog for the girls, which has kept us amused. Neither of them has ever had a pet dog and are trying to make sure they train it properly. We of course have always had highly trained pets. In fact, many of you may not know this but Joey has always been a cat whisperer.
Photo: Joey, at the British Cat Whispering Championships recently.
We have never been renowned for our well-behaved pets. Sister Kate & Sam were expelled from Dog school during the first lesson. Not to mention Walter or Norman.
Photo: Winnie & Juni, with Peggy.
A couple of weekends ago we had one of the most amazing natural phenomena on display and clearly visible from Wanaka. I don’t often say this, but it was awesome!!!!! It, in my opinion is something that everybody should witness at least once in their life. Yes, watching the Highlanders thrash the Crusaders. It is basically a religious experience, and you have to treasure these moments. Oh yeah there was also some Southern Lights thing happening, but you have to get your priorities right.
Now on the subject of religion, why if God exists, did he produce deciduous trees (honestly, I had no idea what they were called - had to ask Nicky). Leaves are just fucking annoying and make for extra work and make life inconvenient. I put them up there with wasps and those ridiculous cardboard matches. For Nathan’s sake we will also add the wind into this category.
On Friday we went down to Invers for the night so that we could watch the kids play rugby on Saturday morning. Sadly, Coop’s rugby was cancelled but Ruby’s was still on, and she played really well, especially now that she plays tackle. Nothing like mixing a red head with a physical sport if you want some natural aggression.
Photo: Rubes & Coop in their rugby gear.
Last week we had the true joy of visiting the Albert Town Camp, twice in one day. Which is double the number of visits I can cope with over a decade. Nicky didn’t cope with the down & outers who had every excuse of why they couldn’t or shouldn’t have to pay. I on the other hand just felt un-clean after each visit. Note to self, must carry banjo if travelling to Deliverance (the Hawea side of Albert Town Camp).
Photo: Deliverance, just past the NO FIRES sign.
This morning, we had a bit of an issue at the camp. The boom gate that is at the entrance was snapped late last night. We worked out which groups were most likely the culprits (some groups were at a 21st), Ben and Nathan visited one of the cabins and Ben gave them a bit of the riot act, which I’m sure made everyone feel better. After watching the video with Nathan for a while I realised we had one minor problem, none of our cameras actually point towards the boom gate. Blimey we (Hampshire), may have let the whole Cockup family and their pets move in, this time. Twenty minutes later Crazy Dawg was walking towards us with a large Guy (rugby type), good ole Crazy Dawg, she caught the culprit. as they got closer, I recognized the criminal. Oh dear, it was Joey’s mate, Hendo, hahaha. He had nothing to do with it, but he did want to question why he was unable to order burgers at the drive through.
After a while the likely culprits did turn up, a couple of who actually play for Taieri. They were all great kids (mongrels? - Yes) who were of the rural persuasion, and most were Lincoln students. They all dobbed their mate in which was hilarious. We then found out that the parents of the birthday boy is good friends with Hendo’s parents, all of the boys were petrified of the boy’s mum. And as you can guess were happy to pay for any damage.
Sometimes having a laugh with the culprits works better than yelling at them. But what would we know. Hahahaha.
Last Monday night we almost had a sad death at the camp. Larry was trapped in a sack and started to panic and overheat to the point of collapse. We rang the local doctor who sadly said there may be nothing that can be done for Larry (unfortunately Jacinda has spent Wanaka’s health budget on Helen Clarke’s sex change - money well spent I say), and we were told to keep an eye on him over night and see if he makes it through to the morning. It was a sleepless night for Nicky and me, and we spent the night trying to keep Larry cool, regaling the fun adventures the three of us have had.
In the morning Larry was motionless so we transported him to reception to wait for any news. As I sat down at my desk Larry opened his eye and within minutes was his usual self again. Doctor Selwyn said that Larry must have been having panic attacks, but he did say he is the first Laptop that he has heard of, that suffers from claustrophobia. Oh, bugger I may have to continue writing these.
Nicky and Annette have worked out a fun competition for the staff. A coloring in comp. This one has a lot of sea creatures, and like Where’s Wally, the main character is to have stripes (yellow & purple). This time though, it’s where’s Tom. Yay!!!!! Anais has already colored some huge stomached creature yellow & purple, and proudly gave him a green beanie. Again, “Yay, life as Tom.” Nathan is looking for a New Zealand silver medal at least.
Photo: Dolphin coloring in.
Last but not least, to break up the monotony I decided to get a tattoo (sorry another tattoo). As per usual I had to get one that people probably don’t understand. This time though I really do think my sister will get it straight away. Oh shit, Mummy reads this, that’s not my arm and it is all Rob’s fault. Hahahaha
Photo: It basically means in life you have to face things you don’t understand (scared of).
When getting the above tattoo, Isi and Dolphin turned up for a laugh. Isi was, as always asking as many questions as possible and Dolph just couldn’t stop giggling, especially when they may or may not had to help me up after I got cast on the bed.
Again, I want to mention all of the overseas kids that we have had work with us at Wanaka. Whatever the day brings, they will make you smile with their antics. They are the reason we are still here, Yes Iris that includes you (Nicky made me write that bit) hahaha.
Have Fun,
Love Tom & Nicky